Life after Death
by Aneash
Summary: Bella has been changed. 4 years after Edward leaves, Bella runs into one of the Cullens while hunting. Can Bella learn to love again, is there really life after death? Not the best summary! I own nothing this is all Stephenie Meyer!
1. Chapter 1

***There wont be so many flashbacks once I get you caught up with Bella, I hope you enjoy, First Fanfic, be gentle! As with all chapters I own nothing, all of this is based off of Stephenie Meyers books!:)***

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Italy_**

It had been four years since Edward Cullen walked out of my life. With every passing day I got better at repressing my feelings, not just any feelings, but all of them. My life had changed since Edward left, everything I loved and held dear was gone. Two months after Edward left, my father died of a heart attack. I will never forget the horror of that day...

**Flashback....**

_I woke that morning with dread, it was Monday and I had to go to school. I hated school now, the memories, the whispers and the sympathetic looks I received from everyone. I just wanted time, time to heal, time to find my way again, but everyone just wanted to help. I didn't want help! _

_I knew their hearts were in the right place, but I couldn't take one more person asking if I was okay, or if they could do anything. Edward was gone, he was my life, my purpose and unless they could turn back time and give me another chance to make Edward happy, then no they couldn't do anything, and I wasn't okay._

_So with that thought I pushed the covers off and forced myself to just make it through the day. I knew my father would be getting up soon, and in a effort to make him feel better and worry about me less, I got up and gathered my clothes and toiletry bag and headed for the shower. When I opened the door I heard the TV on, he must have fallen asleep watching TV again. _

_So I went to turn the water on in the shower so it could heat up, and then started making my way down stairs to wake my father, he would be late if he didn't get up right now._

_I was right he had fallen asleep in the chair in front of the TV. From the stairs I could only see the back of the chair he was in, his arm was hanging over the chair, with the remote in his hand. I walked over and grabbed the remote from him, turning off the TV and walked to the coffee table to put down the remote._

_"Dad, it's time to wake up, you'll be late for work" I said putting down the remote. _

_He didn't stir. I looked over at him, rolling my eyes. He looked so uncomfortable, how anyone could sleep in that chair was beyond me. I smiled just slightly, and walked over to him. I reached my hand out to place it on his shoulder and tried to shake him awake. His left arm was hanging over the chair, his head was bent down with his chin on his chest, and his right arm was laying palm up in his lap. I shook his right shoulder just slightly._

_"Dad, come on, you need to wake..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. His entire body fell to the ground with a loud thump._

_"DAD WAKE UP!!" He didn't respond, his eyes were wide open staring strait up, they were lifeless._

_"DAD, CHARLIE PLEASE"... I shook him again grabbing his forearms this time, he was cold. I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do. I checked for his pulse but felt nothing. 911 was my next thought, my dad keep his cell phone on him at all times, so I reached in his shirt pocket, put the phone on speaker and dialed 911._

_"911, what is your emergency?" The women on the line stated._

_"This is Isabella Swan, my father isn't breathing!" I said while trying to do CPR._

_"Bella?" the women said. _

_In a town the size of Forks, my last name would have been enough to identify myself, my father and my place of residency._

_"Yes, please I need an ambulance, HURRY!" I yelled, I was crying now._

_"They are already on their way Bella, do you know CPR?" she asked trying to remain calm._

_"Yes, how much longer, he isn't responding?", I was shaking now, trying to keep count on the number of compressions and breaths, but my emotions were getting the best of me._

_"They should be there any second Bella, is the door open? Can they get in?" again she remained calm. By that time I could hear the sirens._

_"I can hear them coming, I'll met them at the door". I said and jumped to my feet, the lady on the phone said something in response but I couldn't hear her. When I opened the door the ambulance had just pulled up. Two men ran from the ambulance and up the steps, the first guy was holding a couple bags, and the guy behind him was following with a stretcher._

_"Where is he?" the first man with the bags asked. _

_I just ran over to my father, I couldn't talk at this point. They told me to step back and give them some room, and then they began trying to resuscitate my father. _

_They asked me questions, mainly just what had happened, I told them all I knew, and pushed my self up against the far corner wall. I just starred, I think I was in shook, I remember thinking I had to be dreaming, that this couldn't he happening. The first guy pulled out some "paddles" I had seen enough movies to know what was about to happen, they were going to shock my dad to try and start his heart._

_"Clear" was all he said, just like in the movies. My fathers lifeless body jumped. _

_"Clear" and again his body jerked. _

_They continued this for what seemed like hours. Each time they shocked my father I felt like my own heart stopped. Then the two men working on my father looked at each other and then at me. They sat back from my fathers body a little and the second guy said..._

_"Time of death".... after that I just went numb, everything went black._

**End of Flashback...**

After my fathers death I decided to stay in Forks, I couldn't leave. The death of my father seemed to have almost pushed me over the edge, I totally fell into myself. I didn't talk much anymore, I didn't go out except when I absolutely had to, and I avoided people as much as possible.

My mother came to visit as often as she could, she was determined to get me to come back home with her. She had no idea what Forks meant to me, and why I couldn't leave. Forks was all I had left of Edward and my father if I left now it would be like I was turning my back on their memory.

It was four months after my fathers death and the end of my world was just that much closer.

**Flashback...**

_I was sitting at the kitchen table, starring at the floor. I wasn't doing anything but sitting, I was trying to focus all my energy on not remembering, not thinking, just for a while I wanted to be alone and free of the pain. I did this a lot lately, I depended on moments like these they were all that kept me going. Just then the phone rang, I had seriously considered having the phone shut off. _

_The only time someone called was to check up on me and this was my alone time. I got up slowly and dragged myself to the phone, with one more deep breath I picked up the phone and placed it to my ear._

_"Hello" I said, in my annoyed voice._

_"Bella, it's Phil". This was new, usually it was my mom, only on rare occasions did Phil call._

_"Hey Phil, what's up?" I'm sure he was calling to tell me that my mom was worried about me and he wanted me to come down._

_"Bella, there has been an accident, your mom was killed in a car wreck today. Bella, honey I'm so sorry. I'm going to come get you and bring you back, we have arrangements to make. Don't leave the house, call a friend to come over until I get there." he said, I could hear the tears in his voice, the concern and the heartbreak._

_"Bella?" he said._

_"I'm here, when will you arrive?" I was calm, it amazed me I was so calm. But I could tell it wasn't going to last. _

_The shock would wear off soon and when it did I couldn't be on the phone with Phil. He would call the cops to come stay with me, but what would anyone expect, she was my mom, my best friend, she was all I had left._

_"Tomorrow evening". he said, there was so much sadness in his voice, I couldn't hear anymore, I couldn't let him hear me fall apart._

_"I'll be ready, Phil, see you when you get here". I said still calmly, and then I hung up the phone. I sat down right there in the kitchen floor, I cried and screamed and all that was left of me died that day, I was only a shell now, nothing more._

**End of Flashback...**

I couldn't think of these things anymore, why did I always torture myself with these memories. I was a vampire now and eternity is a long time to remember all that has happened. I thought human memories were suppose to fade, but not mine I remember everything and with perfect clarity. I thought most vampires only remember the burning and the pain of the change, and the day I was changed was the other memory I would love to forget.

I flinched at the thought. I put my head down and forced myself to clear my thoughts, I would not let myself remember that day or any other from my human years. I needed to find something to do to distract myself. So I started running I had no idea where I was going or what I would do when I got there, but for now I just ran, convincing myself to leave behind my past and my pain.

I was near Italy, and I knew the Volturi where located in Italy, but seeing as how I have been alone all this time since my change I knew of nothing more. I keep my distance not really wanting my presents known, I was planing on leaving Italy the following day but I needed to hunt before I started to head elsewhere.

I never knew where I was going, I was just running, running from my past, from my pain. Much to my surprise when I was changed I found that I had talents, much like Edward. I could hear thoughts, but only from other vampires, not humans.

This was helpful to me because I knew that if I heard any thoughts that meant I was near a vampire, and I knew to keep my distance. I was hunting now, I wasn't really thirsty but I was still young and I couldn't risk killing anyone. The last thing I needed was to kill a human and bring attention to myself, especially from the Volturi.

As I was hunting I heard someone's thoughts, it was a familiar voice, comforting in a way, but I couldn't make out what the thought was. I focused, trying to hear it again, I needed to know where this person was, I didn't want to be found.

"Bella?" I stiffened!

The thought was only "Bella". Who would know me out here, and where was this man at? I had not come across anyones scent. I didn't want to stick around to find out who this man was, so I sprang up from my prey and started running, and then the scent hit me. It was a vampire, of course and it was male, the scent was familiar but I couldn't place it. I stopped, frozen and again focused to find out who this man was and how to get away without being confronted.

"It can't be" was the only thought I heard, and then I heard something approaching directly in front of me.

I crouched, ready to defend myself if necessary, I didn't enjoy fighting, I had seen enough death in my life, I just wanted peace and to be left alone, but I would defend myself. Then he stepped into the clearing, I stood straight up and gasped it couldn't be.....

***Well I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, please let me know what you guys think :)***


	2. Chapter 2

*** I own nothing, all of this is Stephenie Meyer's. I love the reviews from you guys, thank you so much! :) ****

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Carlisle_**

"Carlisle" I said, I was relieved it was really him. I knew Carlisle was a man of peace and would not want to cause me any harm, so I stood there and waited for him to speak, I would let him set the tone for this chance meeting.

"Bella, my dear, is it really you?" he asked, and I could detect a little bit a confusion and surprise in his voice, yet his face remained calm.

His mind on the other hand was a very different story, his thoughts were not so calm, he was confused about why I was in Italy and alone, not to mention how I had become a vampire. He was surprised because he never imagined he would run into me of all people while hunting.

"Yes, it's me. How are you Carlisle?" I said, I was unsure if I should make him aware of my talent at this point. I was unsure of how the rest of the Cullens felt toward me after they left Forks, but as of this moment Carlisle harbored no ill will against me, but my talent maybe best left secret.

Carlisle took a step toward me, his hands were raised. I almost wanted to smile at his caution, it was a considerate gesture, his thoughts were focused on not making me uncomfortable.

"Bella, are you okay?" he said with concern in his voice.

I was always amazed by Carlisle's kindness, even now under such tense circumstances he was calm, logical and above all caring. Of course Carlisle was just as beautiful as I remembered, but all vampires were, yet something about the way he carried himself made you think class.

"I'm well Carlisle, thank you for asking. I am young Carlisle, but I assure you I mean you no harm." I tried to say this in such a way that it would put him at ease. His thoughts were so sad and concerned, I almost couldn't take it anymore.

"I am sorry Bella, I meant no offense, I just didn't want to startle you. Your eyes of course indicate you are no to young, and that you have chosen a very difficult lifestyle to follow, may I ask who has been helping you to live in such a way?" his voice was full of pride and curiosity.

I found it most interesting that Carlisle words echoed his thoughts. It seemed to me that most people thought one thing yet said another.

"I have been alone since I was changed Carlisle, there is no one else." Just the sound of those words made me feel more alone than I had realized.

"My god she is alone, what have we done, I knew us leaving was a bad idea. I only blame myself" Carlisle's thoughts brought to my attention that he felt pity for me, and that was the last thing I wanted, but had I said anything he would have realized that I had extra abilities, so I chose to remain silent. At that moment it began to rain, and I could tell through Carlisle's thoughts that he thought it best to go.

"Well, I don't wish to keep you Carlisle, I'm sure you would like to get in out of the rain. It was very nice to see you again, please give my best to the rest of the family." I wasn't sure I wanted to go, but I had caused him and his family nothing but trouble in the past, and I didn't wish to make a nuisance of myself again.

"Wait, Bella where are you staying? I would very much like to catch up with you and I know Esme would especially love to hear from you and know that you are well. Alice and the rest of the family miss you very much, please lets go back to where I am staying and we can talk." his voice said pleadingly.

I wasn't sure if I was ready for this, if I could handle this, but I wasn't sure that avoiding this was a good idea either. It was sure to happen that I ran into one of the Cullens again one day, and eternity is a long time to wonder "what if".

"Umm... I'm not staying anywhere, I mean that I don't have a residence sort of speak. If you think that your family would be okay with my presents and that I would in no way offend anyone or be of any burden to you, then I would love to come, but if you think that it would upset anyone then it is best we go our separate ways here." I didn't mean to seem rude, but I have been a burden to the Cullens to many times to count, and causing any trouble for them is not something I wanted.

Carlisle face looked taken back, and then softened, his eyes were full of love when he spoke again.

"Bella you have never been a burden to this family, never think that. We love you very much, and the thought that you had to endure this change alone hurts me deeply, you are and always have been apart of this family. There is much for us to discuss, come". With that he motioned for me to follow, I considered his words and for the first time in so long I didn't feel so alone.

I nodded and then he started to run, I hadn't ever imaged I would have gotten such a reaction from Carlisle or any of the Cullens for that matter. To think that I would see them all again made me smile, and then a thought passed through Carlisle mind at that moment.

"Edward will finally be whole again."

I almost stopped dead in my tracks, Edward how had I not considered Edward in all of this, how would I be able to handle seeing him again, could I. It had taken me a long time to accept the loss of Edward, could I just see him and then watch him walk away again. I still loved Edward, I longed for him and every second I have had to endure without him has been devastating, I would have to control myself. Edward had the power to hurt me in ways I never thought someone could, l needed to prepare myself for the worst. This was just a visit, nothing more.

At that moment Carlisle said, "Were here".

We had come to a clearing about 40 miles out side of the nearest town. In the middle of the clearing was a beautiful cabin, if that's what you want to call it. It wasn't as big as the Cullens home in Forks, but it was large, two stories by the look of it. It was made of stone, large windows covered the majority of the front of the cabin, it looked very old. As always I was amazed, the Cullens had impeccable taste, it was evident in every material possession they owned.

"What do you think? We are only going to be here for another month, but we fell in love with the place the moment we saw it. Esme and I found it one day while hunting, and you know how Esme loves to re-modle and decorate. After she saw this place, she just knew she had to have it." He spoke with pride in his voice, his love for Esme was unconditional.

Even when he spoke of something like Esme's taste in housing, there was no doubting his love for her. They were perfect for each other, I was so happy for them both to find a love a beautiful as theirs.

"It is lovely, it has Esme written all over it. She has a way of making a home breathtaking and comforting in a way that I will never understand. She is really one of a kind, you are a very lucky man Carlisle." I said.

I never took my eyes of the cabin as I spoke, and although he said nothing, his thoughts said something I was not prepared to hear.

"So was Edward, that foolish boy, I truly hope she can forgive him" he thought.

I just stood there, I was shocked, what did I have to forgive Edward for. I didn't blame him for leaving me, I knew from the moment I laid eyes on Edward Cullen that I was not good enough for him. I was thankful for the time I had with him, I would have rather spent one day with Edward than and eternity with out.

I felt Carlisle's eyes on me and after a few moments I turned to look at him.

"Shall we?" he said motioning towards the cabin.

"After you", I said.

I was worried and unsure what was going to happen, how the rest of the Cullens would react to me, but at least after today I would know and I would have some closure when it came to them.

After a few more steps I heard the thoughts of what I could only assume to be Esme. The thoughts were of the well being of the family and an upcoming trip to town to visit some "friends". Aside from Esme I could only hear Carlisle, so I assumed that the rest of the Cullens were gone.

I was some what relived by that thought, maybe I could gauge the reaction of the rest of the family based on how Esme responds to me. I hoped that they would accept me and forgive me for all the trouble I had caused them in the past, but I was prepared for whatever may come.

We reached the front door and Carlisle opened it for me.

With out a sound I stepped in side.

"Esme, darling we have company."

I took another step forward then took an unnecessary breath.

"Here we go", I thought.

I could do this, I wanted to do this.....

***Well there is my second chapter I hope you enjoy, let me know what you guys think!:)****


	3. Chapter 3

***As always I own nothing. Love the reviews guys, hope you enjoy :)***

**_Chapter 3_**

_**The Cullens**_

Esme was on the second floor of the cabin, I could hear her making her way to the stairs. It felt like time was moving at an unbearably slow pace. I knew she was moving at her normal speed it shouldn't have taken her even a second to reach Carlisle and I, I think my nerves were causing my senses to slow.

Then I heard a gasp and her thoughts,

"BELLA, my god, how did this happen. Thank heavens you are safe. Our family is whole again".

She stood at the foot of the stairs, her hands folded together in front of her mouth. Had Esme been human, I am sure she would have been in tears, her thoughts were so chaotic, so fast I almost had to steady myself, I couldn't keep up with her.

"Can you beileve it darling, of all the people for me to run into while hunting. Our Bella." Carlisle's words were soft full of love, I could tell by his thoughts that Esme had missed me greatly, and he was sure that this had been the happiest he had seen her in years.

He was truly happy to see Esme so over joyed.

She had yet to say anything, with the pace her mind was racing, I figured it was because she didn't know what to say first. She just stood there looking at me, finally she took a step toward me, it wasn't out of caution but she honestly believed that my being here with them, safe and sound was to good to be true and she was in shock.

Esme's mind was still racing, I had considered saying something, but since Carlisle had yet to saying anything to her I assumed it was best to give her a moment. He knew her far better than I , even if I could see into her mind. Then as she lowered her hands to say something to me, I heard footsteps followed by thoughts, all of them.

Alice was talking to Rose about going on a shopping trip tomorrow and Alice's thoughts were of all the stores she wanted to go to, and Rose was thinking about Emmett. I never realized how deep her love for him was, I was moved by her thoughts of him.

Emmett and Jasper were talking about a family baseball game, their thoughts centered on that alone.

Then Edward, his thoughts were of his family and the strain he had put on them, he was considering leaving, he didn't know where he wanted to go, he just thought it would be best if his fowl moods were not there to bring them down.

Just then Carlisle and Esme both turned their attention to the back door, the rest of the family would be here in just a few more moments.

Esme's first thought was how happy everyone would be and she looked at me with appreciation and joy.

She thought that my just being here would be enough to put her family back together and Edward would find happiness again, she wanted her son back. Images of Edward over the years flashed through her mind, he looked broken and empty, I had to focus on something else I couldn't handle seeing Edward that way.

Carlisle was thinking of his family and was guessing their reaction to me, he was dead on about Esme's reaction, he was sure of the others as well. I prayed he was right, if so, no one would try to kill me.

They were just within range of Edward's abilities I guessed and were obviously within hearing range.

I looked at Carlisle and he gave me a reassuring nod, then he closed the space between Esme and himself. Esme then held her hand out to me, her eyes were so happy, her thoughts were the same, and with that I reached my hand out and grabbed hers.

She was soft and warm and as soon as she had a good grab on my hand she pulled me into her with the most loving hug I had felt in years, then she began to cry tearlessly.

Her thoughts changed slightly then she was only saying one thing now in her mind over and over. I wrapped my arms around her and then Jaspers thoughts screamed out to me.

"WHAT THE HELL", followed by Edward's, he had picked up Jaspers thoughts and with in half a second I heard them enter the cabin.

Esme was still crying tearlessly but she was speaking now.

"You can't leave, you have to stay promise you'll stay!"

That was all she said over and over.

I couldn't see the rest of the Cullens from where Esme and I were standing, I had my back to them. Carlisle had never looked up at them when they entered, he only looked at his wife and myself, he reached out and put a hand on both mine and Esme's shoulders giving us all the support he could.

"It's okay Esme, everything will be okay!" I said trying to calm her. I was so worried about Esme I wasn't paying attention to the rest of the Cullens.

Esme's thoughts were my only concern. She feared what would happen if I didn't want them. She wanted me to stay, she loved me and she didn't think she could take it if she lost her daughter again.

"Promise me Bella, promise me!" she stepped back just enough to look in my eyes, she looked sad and scared.

The thought of what this would do to Esme if I were to leave hurt, and for a moment I thought my being here was wrong, that I was only going to cause more harm that good. I looked over at Carlisle his eyes mimicked hers, his thoughts strangely enough where very much like hers as well. He was sure that if I left now the family would fall apart and he was terrified of the idea.

What was I going to do, what have I done.

"I promise Esme, please don't think that I wouldn't want you guys back in my life, I love you as well, you will not lose me, that I promise."

As I spoke those words to her I realized what I had done, and I knew not only would she realized my talent but Edward would as well.

"Oh well", I thought, "now that the cat is out of the bag."

"Carlisle I would never do anything to cause a problem within your family, when you asked me to come here, had I any idea that my presents could cause so much trouble I would have regretfully declined your invitation." I looked at him, and tried with all the emotion I could muster up to convey how truly sorry I was.

Esme was hugging me again, but she had stopped crying. Her thoughts had returned to the joyful state they were just a few moments ago.

Carlisle's thoughts were of Esme and of the others in the room. They had remained still and silent throughout this entire ordeal and through Carlisle I could see them all very clearly.

Alice was of course full of excitement and nearly jumping up and down.

Rose stood next to her with a very displeased look on her face, and Emmett was of course smiling, leave it to Emmett to find the humor in a moment like this.

Edward's, expression was unreadable, it shifted slightly, looking at him through Carlisle made him hard to read.

Looking at Edward for the first time in so long made me feel to much at once and I almost lost my footing, I had to look somewhere else, I wasn't ready to face him yet.

Jasper was standing next to Edward and was starring straight at me, his expression said to me that his was concerned about something and then I focused. I had been paying attention to only Esme this entire time, and had neglected to read the thoughts of the others, as soon as I focused on the group Jaspers thoughts where screaming at me.

"HOW YOUNG IS SHE, GET AWAY FROM THEM, WHAT IF SHE HURTS THEM" as soon as I heard that I stiffened and Esme was confused, she thought she had done something wrong, hurt me maybe.

"No Esme, I'm fine, it is just that your proximity to me, along with Carlisle's is making Jasper very uncomfortable. It is probably a good idea to put some distance between us, I assure you I will not be offended." I said this and gave my best effort at controlling my emotions, I was going to do all that I could to put Jasper at ease. Of all the Cullens, I wanted to have to fight Jasper least of all.

Esme looked at Carlisle and wanted to know what he thought, but said nothing. Carlisle looked at Jasper and then down at Esme.

"She is right Esme, we should do our best to make this as easy as we can for everyone." With that Carlisle took Esme's hand, squeezed my shoulder and went to join the rest of their family. I took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face the others.

Jasper was still uncomfortable, his thoughts were very frustrating. I couldn't decipher what would put him at ease, so I decided that just asking would be the best idea.

"Jasper, I'm sorry that my presents here is making you uncomfortable. If there is anything I can do to put you at ease, please let me know." I looked at him trying my best to keep my emotions under control.

Jasper's moods affected everyone around him, I really didn't want all the Cullens to feel what he was feeling because if his feelings were any reflection of his thoughts I was in trouble.

"Why don't we all take a moment and got to the table in the dinning room, I'm sure everyone has a lot of questions for Bella, I know I do." Carlisle looked at me and smiled.

Rose and Emmett were the first in the dinning room, followed by Esme and Carlisle. Jasper motioned for Alice to follow them, but she keep her eyes on me at all times.

Her thoughts made me laugh out loud and for the first time since Edward left. She was thinking of all the cloths we were going to get for me tomorrow, and how beautiful I had turned out. Had I been able to I would have blushed.

"Shopping Alice, I haven't been here 10 minutes. You haven't changed a bit, and compared to you, Rose and Esme, I am still very plain." I was truly glad to see that Alice still thought of me as her best friend and that time had not changed her mind of me.

Just then Jaspers thoughts came to the forefront of my mind

"I wish Alice would get in the other room". I looked at Jasper then and nodded showing him that I understood. Trying my best to put him at ease, I took a step back and looked at Alice.

"Alice, I'm sure you know better than I that Jasper isn't comfortable around me yet, you should probably go into the dinning room with the others." I smiled at her and she just rolled her eyes.

No, she had not changed a bit.

"Oh Jazz, Bella is not going to hurt anyone, she is very controlled. Now come on, I don't want you giving her a hard time. I promise everything is going to be fine." She grabbed his hand and pulled him along with Edward to the dinning room. Jasper walked backward toward the dinning room, never taking his eyes off me, he feared I was still to young to be trusted, and I understood completely.

I felt Edward's eyes on me, but I could not look, it was important that I keep my emotions in check especially for Jasper. I followed them into the dinning room and took the only remaining seat at the table.

Carlisle was at the head of the table on the opposite end from me. Esme was beside him their hands clasped together, Rose seat next to Esme with Emmett standing behind her. Alice was on Carlisle's other side, and Edward next to her. Jasper came and stood behind me, his thoughts then caught my attention.

"I should restrain her, just in case." He wasn't as concerned as before but I was willing to help him in any way that I could.

"I don't mind Jasper, if that will make you feel better. I wont be offended." Jasper then placed both of his hands on my shoulders firmly, I didn't flinch, I did my best to make him feel at ease and thankfully it was working.

Then he had another thought, he wanted to be sure that I could read his mind just like Edward could and as the thought passed through his mind I felt Edward's head snap up, he too was curious.

"Thank you, for understanding Bella, I do not wish to upset you." Jasper said through his thoughts, only Edward and I would have heard him. Not missing a beat I confirmed Jaspers suspicion, along with Edward's.

"You're very welcome Jasper, you have not upset me in the least, you would know!"

Him and Edward both gasped in unison.

"Great another Edward!" Emmett said, with that same smile on his face from earlier. I smiled back, and was truly thankful for Emmett, he knew how to make someone smile and I missed smiling. Plus we were right back into our old routine of "make fun of Bella", he made me feel at home.

"Well, Bella are you up for a few questions?" Alice said out loud.

"Because they all have a lot of them, especially Edward." As she spoke that time it was in her thoughts.

"Sure, what would you like to know?" I gave one long look around the table, and took a deep breath, I was nervous, but I would do my best to be as honest and forthcoming as I could be.

I had been alone for a very long time, I had lost a lot of my people skills, and nothing about the last four years would be anything they really wanted to hear.

Jasper sent me a wave of calm and reassurance and I prepared myself. The thoughts of everyone in that room were asking question after question, and I couldn't keep up with them, it was a lot to decipher. I wasn't good at dealing with my talent, I had very little experience with it, I had not been around many vampires since I was changed.

I grabbed the bridge of my nose trying to concentrate on tuning them out, but I couldn't, I didn't know how.

I thought to myself "God Edward how do you do it, their thoughts it's to much. I can't tell who is thinking what."

"I HEARD YOU" Edward said.

My head snapped up and I looked him straight in the eyes. Everyones thoughts stopped, they all look to Edward and then myself. No one was thinking anything, not even me.....

***** I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, I know it is kind of slow pace, but I thought for now that it was fitting. Things will speed up soon, and I will start switching POV's. Sorry about any punctation and grammar errors, I'm not a very good writer. Also thanks for all the reviews and tips, I hope the spacing is better! See you guys tomorrow with a new chapter and with a lot more Edward in it!****


	4. Chapter 4

****As with all my chapters, I own nothing. THANK YOU to everyone for your reviews, I loved them all, you guys are great! Hope you guys enjoy!!:)******

Chapter 4 (EPOV)

Bella

"This is the place, it will be perfect. There will be a storm on Friday, so get started planning boys." Alice said.

The clearing Alice saw in her vision for the baseball game Emmett and Jasper were planning was perfect of course, why Alice insisted we all come out here and see it a head of time was unnecessary. Alice was always right about her visions, but she insisted, and when it comes to Alice you just do what she wants, it's just easier that way.

"Great job, my darling". Jasper said to Alice.

His thoughts were of the love that they shared and how he couldn't imagine his life without her. How happy they both were made my bad mood even worse and I forced back a growl.

"Sorry man, anything I can do?" Jasper said through his thoughts with apology in his eyes, as he sent me a wave a calm.

I just turned my head slightly from left to right, no one would have noticed except Jasper. I was ready to go back, being out here was a waste of time. I had better things to do. Who am I kidding I had nothing better to do, I promised myself that I would do everything I could to be "the old me" again, at least for Esme and Carlisle, but I wasn't doing a good job, I couldn't be the "old me" with out her.

"Okay, let's head back." Alice said, as she grabbed Jaspers hand and sprang forward into a graceful run.

"Come on Edward, race you back." Emmett said in his thoughts. Everything was a challenge to Emmett, and he really believed that one of these days he would actually win a race against me.

Rose rolled her eyes and thought some of some petty remark about my mood, after calling me an idiot and then ran to catch up to Alice and Jasper.

"On your mark, get set, GO." Emmett said and we were off.

We passed the others in just seconds and I was way ahead a Emmett. I could hear him cursing my speed in his mind behind me, and saying that one of these days he would win. I almost laughed, almost.

I slowed and let the rest of them catch up to me. Alice was talking about a shopping trip she wanted to go on, and Rose was thinking of Emmett. I always hated hearing Rose's thoughts, they were usually shallow and uninteresting, but today more than ever I wanted not to hear her.

She was thinking of how handsome Emmett was and how much their love had grown over the years. She wanted them to have a love like Carlisle and Esme one day, the kind of love that so many search for but so few ever find.

Listening to the thoughts of the others made my life that much harder, not a second went by that I didn't think of Bella and I longed to look into her eyes. I was forever changed by Bella and despite my best efforts I couldn't help but want to run back to Fork's and break every promise I had made to her. I wanted her back, I need her back. I was not whole without her, she was my life, my everything, I loved her in ways I never knew one person could love.

I loved her so much I left her, I wanted her safe, to have a future, and a soul. A future with me would only be a soulless and a dangerous one, Bella deserved more, and deserved better than me.

"I've put so much strain on this family, I should go away, leave for a while. I don't know where I would go this time, but my absents and that of my fowl moods could only help the family, I shouldn't bring them down with me.' I thought to myself.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Jasper yelled in his thoughts, I immediately snapped out of my dazed state and read him further.

I felt sadness and fear coming from Esme through Jasper. I listened out toward the cabin, and it was silent except for Esme.

"You can't leave, you have to stay promise you'll stay!" Esme was crying out. Her thoughts were that of the words she spoke and she spoke in a tone I have never heard from her before.

We were inside the cabin within half a second.

I couldn't believe what I saw. It couldn't be, I had lost it, I had finally gone over the deep end. None of this could be real, could it? I couldn't speak, and I was no longer listening to the thoughts of those around me, I was so focused on the women holding Esme that the cabin could have caught fire and I wouldn't have known.

"It's okay Esme, everything will be okay!" the women said. Her voice was full of worry and concern, she gave Esme her full attention.

The voice was so familiar, but not Bella's. The women resembled Bella, but from where I was standing I couldn't get a good look at her. I could have looked at her through Carlisle or Esme but I was to shocked to make my mind work, I felt like none of my senses were working. I just stood there and starred.

"Promise me Bella, promise me". Esme said.

I just about fell down, I think my knees gave out, but then Esme looked at her. I focused every bit of energy I could into seeing through Esme's mind, seeing this women that Esme believed to be Bella.

It was her, my Bella. Although she was a vampire now, she was still Bella. The beauty that Bella possessed now, knocked the air out of me. Bella had always been beautiful, there was never any doubt in that, but now there were no words to do justice to the beauty of the women holding Esme.

As vampires we are beautiful to our prey, in every way we draw them in, but Bella as an immortal, her beauty put us all to shame. I have never seen anything to match her. I was stunned, dazzled like she used to say and I wasn't even looking at her myself.

"I promise Esme, please don't think that I wouldn't want you guys back in my life, I love you as well, you will not lose me, that I promise." Bella said.

Did she mean it, could it be possible that after everything that had happened between Bella and I in Fork's that she would come back to my family. No matter what she meant or why she told that to Esme, I would not lose her again. I had been give a second chance to do things right by Bella, and I would make it my dying act to ensure that Bella knew I was sorry and that I loved her with every fiber of my being.

"Carlisle I would never do anything to cause a problem with in your family, when you asked me to come here, had I any idea that my presents could cause so much trouble I would have regretfully declined your invitation." Bella told him apologetically.

So Carlisle is the one I have to thank for giving me my life back, because of him Bella is here. I would have to buy him a house or two so he knew just how grateful I was and what trouble could Bella be referring to. She has never been trouble, although trouble and danger followed her around on a nearly consistent basis in Forks, no one could blame her for it. No one did.

Suddenly Bella stiffened, what could be concerning her so?

"No Esme, I'm fine, it is just that your proximity to me, along with Carlisle is making Jasper very uncomfortable. It is probably a good idea to put some distance between us, I assure you I will not be offended." Bella said.

She was very calm, and I felt like I had missed something, where did all that come from? I was confused, so much of my energy was focused on Bella that I had not even heard my family talking amongst themselves. After a few glances between Esme, Carlisle and Jasper, Carlisle spoke.

"She is right Esme, we should do our best to make this as easy as we can for everyone". With that Carlisle and Esme came to join the rest of us. Bella took a deep breath and slowly turned around.

This would be it, the first time I saw Bella's face with my own eyes in four years. I took a deep breath too, and just stood there in awe. Had their ever been a creature who's beauty was that breathtaking. She was perfect in every way imaginable, it would take an army of newborns to part me from her now, and I wasn't sure even that would be enough.

She looked directly at Jasper, she looked frustrated and worried. Then she spoke.

"Jasper, I'm sorry that my presents here is making you uncomfortable. If there is anything I can do to put you at ease, please let me know." Bella said, all emotion had left her face, was she afraid of Jasper? If so, it would only make sense, he had not left her with the best impression of himself on her birthday four years ago.

"Why don't we all take a moment and go to the table in the dinning room, I'm sure everyone has a lot of questions for Bella, I know I do." Carlisle broke the acquired silence in the room with his calm words.

How I envied Carlisle's control, not just over his bloodlust, but his emotions, his thoughts, everything. He was so wise and so patient. I should have said something to Bella already, gone to her and dropped to my knees and begged her to give me another chance, but I just stood their like and idiot, as Rose would say and starred at her.

"Shopping Alice, I haven't been here 10 minutes. You haven't changed a bit, and compared to you, Rose and Esme, I am still very plain." Bella said.

I did it again, I was so out of it that I completely missed what Alice had said. If I didn't get a hold of myself Emmett was going to have to slap me or something, and I really didn't want that, I may be able to out run Emmett, but when it comes to strength Emmett is scary.

"Alice, I'm sure you know better than I that Jasper isn't comfortable around me yet, you should probably go into the dinning room with the others." Bella told Alice with a smile on her lips.

Okay thats it, I have to focus. Maybe if I stop looking at her that will help, I could talk to her then, move at least. Looking at Bella hypnotized me, mesmerized me maybe, I need to think or I'm gonna snap.

"Oh Jazz, Bella is not going to hurt anyone, she is very controlled. Now come on, I don't want you giving her a hard time. I promise everything is going to be fine." Alice said and then she grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her to the dinning room.

I keep my eyes on Bella until we entered the dinning room and I had to take my seat. I was sitting next to Alice, starring at the table top, my mind was still blank. I felt her walk in and take the only remaining seat left at the table, I wanted to look at her, look into her eyes but I was just getting my bearings back and if I wanted to be able to at least say "Hi" to her I need to focus.

"I don't mind Jasper, if that will make you feel better. I wont be offended." Bella had said, and then Jasper placed both of his hands on her shoulders to restrain her. Apparently I was wrong in thinking that Bella feared Jasper, Jasper feared Bella and if I were Jasper I would be afraid, he had it coming.

"Can she really read my mind like Edward can? Hummm.... Let's see." Jasper had said this and in his thoughts.

My head snapped straight up, could she, had I missed this somehow in the brief time she had been her? My god, was I so wrapped up in her that I would have missed something this huge?

"Thank you for understanding Bella, I do not wish to upset you." Jasper said this in his thoughts as a means of verifying his theory, and mine now as well.

"You're very welcome Jasper, You have not upset me in the least, you would know!" she said this almost immediately, my god she could read the thoughts of others just as I could.

"Great another Edward!" Emmett said, with one of his "can you believe this shit" kind of grin. But I gotta give it to Emmett he made her smile, and Bella smiling was something I have wanted to see for a long time.

"Well, Bella are you up for a few questions?" Alice asked out loud.

"Because they all have a lot of them, especially Edward." Alice spoke this time just in her thoughts to Bella, a warning of sorts.

Alice was right, I had a lot of questions. Every questions I have wanted to ask Bella over the last four years flooded my mind, along with many new questions, thanks to her appearance here and the changes that have been made to her life.

"Sure, what would you like to know?" she said looking nervous, but trying to hide it apparently.

Jasper sent her a wave or calm and reassurance, and she looked like she was ready. With that everyone including myself started thinking of all the things they wanted to ask Bella, all of them trying to figure out what to ask first.

Bella grabbed the bridge of her nose, I couldn't tell if she was in pain maybe or trying to concentrate, either way I focused on her and tried to build enough confidence to take her hand and give her my support. But before I could move my hand, I heard something I had never heard before.

"God Edward, how do you do it, their thoughts it's to much. I can't tell who is thinking what!" Bella said that I was sure, but it was her thoughts. I heard Bellas thoughts, for a moment I saw into her mind.

I can't even image the thousand upon thousands of times I have wished to her what she was thinking, just to have a glimpse into her mind for just a fraction of a second. And so it is that the first thought, the first glimpse into Bella's mind that I get is of her thinking of me.

"I HEARD YOU!" was all I could say.

Her head shot straight up and she looked at me with those beautiful eyes. Again I was mesmerized by her, the thoughts of the rest of my family stopped, as well as my own. I could fell them looking back and forth between Bella and myself, but I couldn't look away. I would spend the rest of eternity in this moment if I could.

Everything would change now, I would prove myself to her, I would love her like no one else has been loved before.....

**** Well there is Chapter 3 from EPOV, I hope everyone enjoyed it and I did justice to Edward's first time seeing bella again. Let me know what you guys think, and I love the reviews. Thanks guys, see ya next chapter:)****


	5. Chapter 5

***As with all my chapters, I own nothing. Sorry it took so long to update, I got pretty sick and it's hard to write when you can't see straight. Hope you guys enjoy!:)***

**Chapter 5 (BPOV)**

**The Questions**

I don't know how long I looked into Edward's eyes, it could have been days for all I knew, but looking into his eyes again brought back so many memories.

Images started to flood my mind, feelings and emotions started to take control.

I thought of the first time I saw him and rest of his family at school. I thought of the day he saved me from the van, our first kiss, and our meadow.

I remembered my lullaby, and watching him play it for the first time. I remembered the night he stayed, the day he took me to meet his family, and the baseball game.

I allowed my self to have hope, and for a few moments I let my guard down. I let myself drown in the memories that I had made with him and his family.

Every good memory, every moment of happiness that him and his family had brought into my life passed through my mind and I knew that if I was ever going to learn to love and trust again, that those memories were my first step.

Finally, after I had finished reliving all those memories I forced myself to break away from Edward's gaze. If I didn't look away, I knew other memories would resurface and those memories, those feeling and emotions, they would only bring me pain and for the first in so long, I felt whole again, safe, I never wanted to leave this moment.

"Bella, that was beautiful!" Carlisle said.

The expression on his face was love. I search his mind for some explanation to his comment, but all I saw where memories of him and Esme flowing through him.

"It truly was Bella, my dear, you know you have brought happiness to us as well." Esme spoke those words, but still I was confused why.

"Thank you." Was all I could say, I must have been so lost in Edward that I missed something, but before I could ask Alice spoke.

"You don't realize what just happened do you, Bella?"

"No, I'm afraid, I am a little confused." I said, but looked at everyone, they all shared the same softened expression.

Even Jasper had moved from his place behind me and stood behind Alice now.

"We all saw your memories Bella, felt what you were feeling at the time you had them, it was like we were there with you." Edward said, his velvet voice sounded relived almost.

"All of you, not just Edward?" I asked, I was almost embarrassed.

Some of those memories were very intimate to me and if I could have blushed I would have been crimson for sure.

"Yes, all of them. How did you do that?" Edward asked.

"I don't know. I didn't know I could, I haven't been around people very much since my change, I have no explanation for what happened." I said

"Well Bella, it would seem that you are very talented, even more so than you knew. Don't worry we have time to sort all of it out, and we will help you learn your new found talent, but for now I have a few questions, if you still feel up to answering them." Carlisle said

"Of course Carlisle, what would you like to know." I told him, and I took a deep breath and prepared myself.

"Well, to start, why don't you tell us what has happened after we left Forks. That may answer many of our questions." Carlisle said.

I was unsure where to begin, what I should tell them and what I shouldn't. Just then Alice reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

"I've seen some of what happened to you after we left, I know this will be hard Bella, but they need to know and you need to tell someone what happened, I promise you will feel better once you have. I am here for you Bella, you are no alone." Alice said in her mind.

I nodded and thought to myself that I could do this, I held Alice's hand, never letting go,I took a deep breath, looked about the room and began to tell my story.

"For the first two months after you had gone life was very uneventful, but then after that life took quite a turn for me." I said.

I had to take a moment and steady myself, I looked down at mine and Alice's hand and then she gave my hand a small squeeze and I continued.

She was right I needed to do this.

"Two months after you left, my father died. He had a heart attack in the middle of the night, and I woke to find him the next morning. I buried him and decided to remain in Forks despite my mothers best effort to get me to come home with her. "

I said all of this to them, but my eyes never left mine and Alice's hands, I was afraid that if I looked at them that I would not be able to continue. I also tried not to hear their thoughts, and luckily enough it was working, if I was gonna do this it was now or never.

"Four months after my father died, I got a phone call from Phil saying that my mother had be killed in a car wreck. I buried my mother and again I returned to Forks. Not many people came around to see me anymore after that had happened. The only people that did were some long time friends of the family, Jacob and Billy Black."

I must have sounded so cold and detached about what had happened to my parents, but I couldn't afford to get emotional, if I did I would never make it through this.

I knew what part of the story was coming next and I was scared, really scared. I had never told anyone of how I was changed before, and I didn't even allow myself to remember it.

It was a terrifying experience and I knew I would have to tell them, but I didn't know if I could.

"I'm here Bella, it is okay. You can do this." Alice said silently again, and squeezed my hand.

I took a deep breath and began.

"Two weeks after I returned from my mothers funeral Victoria and Laurent made themselves known to me." I said to them.

My hands were shaking, and I was fighting with myself to not remember. I just had to say what had happened, I didn't have to relive it, but my emotions were getting the best of me and Jasper had to step in.

"Bella, don't be frightened, you are safe here." Jasper said this and sent me a wave of calm and strength, but it had the opposite effect.

It relaxed me enough that I began to remember the events of those terrible days....

**Flashback....**

_I was in the living of my dad's home. I was standing there looking a the mantle of pictures of him and I in years past. _

_I was worse now than I had ever been. I longed for death and one solitaire promise was all that keep me here._

_I stood there and thought of nothing, felt nothing except the wish that I could join my parents, that somehow fate would step in and release me from this hell. _

_"Well, well feeling sorry for ourselves are we human?" the man said, I would have known that voice anywhere. _

_I should have been scared that someone was in my home uninvited and also that the man was a vampire, Laurent to be precise, but I didn't care, I didn't care about anything anymore._

_"All alone, no family, no friends, poor, poor human. Maybe we should keep her company, what do you think Laurent?" the women said, it was Victoria speaking this time._

_Still I didn't turn around to look at them, their presents had no effect on me. All they could do was kill me, and secretly I wished they would. _

_Everyone I loved was dead or gone. If they were really going to hurt me, then leaving me alive was the worst they could do. _

_"Agreed, lets go for a walk shall we human, we have some business with you." Laurent said very matter of fact._

_"I'll get my jacket." I said and turned towards them._

_I looked at them, and I knew I should have been frightened and should beg for my life but the life I had known was gone and I was ready for whatever may come. _

_"Brave human, this will be interesting." Victoria said, she almost looked disappointed._

_I know they wanted me to be afraid, but I wasn't capable of fear or any feelings, plus I wouldn't give them the satisfaction._

_I grabbed my coat and walked towards the door, taking one last look at my fathers home and thought to myself "it will all be over soon"._

_"After you." I said with out emotion to them. _

_I followed them to the tree line outside the house, once we were in the cover of the trees Laurent walked up to me and took my coat from my hands. _

_As he held out my coat for me to put on, he spoke. "Here now put this on, we can't have you getting sick. We need you to answer a few questions for us."_

_I put the coat on, and he reached out his hand for me to take. _

_It was the first time in over six months that I had felt the icy comfort of a vampire, and had I been capable of feeling anything, I think that even under such terrifying circumstances, I would have felt a little at ease with the familiarity of his skin. _

_I took his hand without a second of hesitation, I knew the sooner we got this over with the better, I longed for peace and they could give that to me._

_As I took his hand he threw me over his back and began to run. _

_I should have enjoyed this, some of my fondest memories of Edward involved him running with me securely on his back, but I felt nothing, once again I longed for the end. _

_I don't know how long we ran, my best guess would have been an hour maybe before we stopped._

_"Here we are, this should do just fine." Victoria stated, apparently happy with the clearing we came upon. _

_It was a small clearing, it was empty aside from the grass on the ground and the large bolder near the center. I looked it over very carefully, because I knew this is where I would take my last breath. _

_"Well, human where are the Cullens, Edward especially?" Victoria asked._

_She seemed sure of her ability to intimidate me, so much so that I almost laughed. _

_Next to my experience with James and all that had happened to me in the last six months Victoria was nothing._

_"Gone." I simply stated. _

_"Yes, I know that, but where to human. You were important to Edward, his mate, I would hate to kill you and him not be here to watch you die, so again I will ask, where are the Cullens?" she said._

_She was still trying to frighten me, to scare the information out of me, to watch me beg for my life, she was going to be very disappointed._

_"Gone Victoria, their gone." I stated with no emotion and without fear._

_She must have realized that she was not scaring me so she decided a little violence would loosen my tongue. _

_She walked up to me and looked me straight in the eyes, she lifted her hand very slowly and placed it on the side of my face, stroking my hair and cheek very gently._

_"You will tell me where the Cullens are human, or you will suffer. Last chance before this gets ugly, where are the Cullens?" She said and I could tell she was getting impatient._

_"Gone." I simply stated, again without fear, never breaking eye contact with her._

_She growled and pulled back her hand and then hit me. I blacked out for a few moments and when I can too Laurent was sitting beside me, leaning next to the bolder I had landed on. _

_"If you kill her Victoria, we wont get our answers, she is fragile, you must be careful." Laurent stated, and looked as though he was bored with this game he and Victoria were playing._

_I sat up, my head was pounding and I think my shoulder was out of place, but I said nothing and showed no sign of pain._

_I stood up and looked at Victoria, ready for whatever her and Laurent would do next._

_"I will kill you human, eventually I will find your Edward, with or without your help. You can either tell me where he is and I will make your death a quick and easy one or you can keep resisting and I will make you suffer then I will kill you, it is your choice." Victoria said._

_She was aggravated, by my demeanor I guessed but I thought that best, the more aggravated she was the more likely she would lose control and this would end that much quicker. _

_"They are gone Victoria, and you are mistaken about Edward's affections for me. If you think that killing me, will in some way upset Edward, you a wrong, and wasting my time." I said this to her wishing that it would upset her enough to just get it over with._

_She ran her white fingers through her hair and looked at me with more anger than she had through this entire ordeal. _

_She clinched her hands into fists and I think she was trying to calm herself, I wished she wouldn't, I wished she would just kill me already._

_At that moment she sprang, I didn't see her do it, I just felt her grab the back of my head and fist my hair into her hands. The next thing I knew I was thrown into a tree on the far side of the clearing and I felt some of my ribs break. _

_As I hit the ground the air was knocked out of me and I laid on my back trying to calm my breathing. _

_After a few moments my breathing returned to normal and I stood up to face Laurent and Victoria. _

_Their eyes were bright red and surprised. I don't know if they assumed I would have died from Victoria's out burst or not, but either way I knew Victoria's would only tolerate so much more before she would snap._

_I looked her in the eyes and began to walk toward her. Once I was with in arms length of her I stopped and waited for her to speak._

_She crouched like she was going to spring again and began to circle me, Laurent backed away and sat on the bolder in the middle of the clearing, watching both me and Victoria. _

_"Where are the Cullens, human? You owe them no loyalty, and they have shown you none. They left you here defenseless, and now you suffer because of their disloyalty. ANSWER ME! Where are the Cullens? Where is your beloved Edward?" _

_She was angry now and I wondered just how far I could push her._

_"You speak of loyalty Victoria yet you know none. Do you think that what you are doing now, James would have done for you? What you are doing now isn't out of loyalty, it's out of vengeance and your own selfishness and I feel sorry for you! The Cullens are gone and even if I knew where they were I would die before I told you." _

_By the time I had finished speaking she was standing right in front of me, so close that I could feel her breath on my face. _

_She was really angry now and I was sure this was it, the end. I didn't move I just starred at her back showing no emotion, no fear. _

_Surely she knew by now that I would not give into her and that she should just kill me and get it over with, but Victoria was far from finished._

_Again she moved so fast that I didn't know what happened until it was over. I assumed she punched me, for lack of a better word. _

_One minute I was standing looking at her and the next I was face down on the ground. _

_When I could, I sat up and my mouth was full of blood and I realized she had knocked some of my teeth out. I was in pain from head to toe, but still I wasn't about to give her any satisfaction. _

_I knew she had been holding back, if she had actually hit me with all her strength I would have been dead long ago. _

_So I stood up and spit out the blood and teeth from my mouth. _

_I could tell a new battle raged with in Victoria and Laurent now. There was blood and a lot of it, my nose was bleeding as well and soon they would lose control one way or another. _

_It was hard to stand, I was in so much pain but I wouldn't give in. My vision was kind of blurry now and I wasn't sure if I keep this up much longer. _

_I looked her in the eyes once again and waited._

_"Victoria, maybe the human is telling the truth. Maybe she doesn't know where the Cullens are, we should consider that." Laurent spoke and I could tell the smell of my blood was getting to him._

_"She knows, and she will tell me or she will die!" Victoria hissed._

_"Where are they human!" She hissed at me and for the first time I was growing impatient with her._

_"I am growing very tired of this Victoria. For a vampire you don't hear very well. I told you they are gone. Do you really think that you are a match of any of them. You should have seen how they ripped apart James, and believe me he was ten time the vampire you are. I was terrified of him, and I have actually had to hold back laughing at you." This time I spoke with a smile._

_I really pissed her off this time. She growled and lunged at me. I'm not sure what all she did to me or what exactly happened, she moved to fast but I remember the pain. _

_First, I think some of my hair was ripped out and one of my arms was broken. I saw Laurent lung down at me with Victoria as well and then I felt them both bite into me. Victoria bit my neck and Laurent my wrist. _

_The pain was to much to bear and blackness was starting to take me over. _

_I knew I didn't have much longer a minute maybe less, and then all of the sudden Victoria and Laurent were gone, ripped off me, and then blackness. _

_I woke up days later still in the same clearing. My vision, sense of smell, strength and reflexes had all changed. _

_I knew immediately what had happened, I was a vampire now._

_I sat up, blood stained and my cloths were ripped and dirty. I couldn't imagine how this happened. I was sure they would kill me, how had I survived._

_"Bella, don't move or we will kill you!" the familiar husky voice said._

_I didn't move but turned my gaze to the direction of the voice._

_"Jacob?" I said, shocked._

_"Yes." he said coldly._

_I noticed he was standing far away from me on the other end of the clearing and looked as if he was shaking, like he was cold. _

_I didn't move, he knew what I was and if I hurt Jacob I would never forgive myself, he was the only friend in this world I had left, but why was he so angry._

_"Jacob what's wrong, what happened?" I said concerned. _

_I knew Jacob and his friends were werewolves, so I knew he and I were free to speak honestly with each other, but for the first time since I had arrived in Forks he didn't look like he wanted to talk to me. _

_I realized then that our friendship must not have been strong enough to endure something like what had happened to me._

_"We were to late tracking you and the two bloodsuckers down, by the time we got here you had been bitten by those leaches. We killed the male, but his mate got away. They didn't have time to finish you off so instead you have become one of them." He spoke with a little sadness in his voice, but mostly disgust._

_" The female, Victoria, she got away?" I asked_

_"Yes, but we will continue to search for her. She will probably come back here to look for you and when she does we will be ready, she wont get away from us again." he said._

_"Did any of your pack get hurt Jacob?" I asked and I prayed he would say no._

_"No, the only person hurt was you. Bella, you are not welcome in Forks anymore. We know that vampires are very dangerous when they are first turned and although we should allow you to live here under the same treaty as the rest of the Cullens, we can't. We have no idea what you are capable of or how dangerous you really are. We have brought a change of cloths for you from you fathers and your wallet. Once you are changed we will escort you out of Washington. If you ever come back here alone or uncontrolled we will be forced to kill you." He said._

_I was shocked but I understood completely why Jacob had to say this. He was right I was dangerous and alone, Forks was the last place I should be, I didn't belong here anymore, I didn't belong anywhere._

_"What about my fathers house and all mine and my fathers belongings?" I asked him._

_"I told my father what has happened, we will pack up all your things and store them for you. We will board up the house and keep it safe for you until you can come back." Jacob said, and his tone had become even more cold._

_"Thank you Jacob, I appreciate all that you have done for me. I won't give you any trouble, I'll just go." I said._

**End of Flashback.....**

As the memory of those terrible days ended, I took a deep breath and went to speak but before I could Emmett spoke.

"I'm going to kill Victoria Bella, I promise you she will pay for what she has done to you little sis!"

He was angry, shaking and I almost pitied Victoria if Emmett ever got his hands on her.

I looked around the room and the expressions on everyones faces told me that once again they saw my memories.

That is not how I wanted them to know of my change. I didn't want vengeance for what had been done to me, I would kill Victoria one day but only because I knew she was a danger to the only family I had left.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." I said and this time I looked to Esme.

Her face was sad and pained. She held tightly to Carlisle and he to her.

"Bella, you were so brave. None of us are deserving of the loyalty you showed us that day. Victoria was right about that, and you gave your life to protect my family, to protect us all, we owe you a great debt for that." Carlisle stated.

"You all have saved my life more times and in more ways than I can count. None of you owe me anything. None of you!" I said this and looked directly at Edward.

He was blaming himself for what had happened to me. He thought that if he had been there he could have stopped Victoria and Laurent that I would have never had to suffer.

He couldn't believe that I would have given my life to protect him when he had left me the way he did.

"Bella I... I never.... I don't...", Edward couldn't decide what he wanted to say but the meaning was clear.

"Edward, I always have and always will love you. Please do not blame yourself, none of this was your fault." I told him with as much love as I could put into my voice.

I took my other hand and reached up and placed it on his cheek. The spark that was there between us so many years ago and no faded and I knew that I still loved him just as I had before.

He laid his head into my hand and looked into my eyes and then he spoke.

"I should have been there for you, it should have been me to change you, I'm so sorry my love."

There was so much sadness in his voice, I wanted so much to comfort him but I didn't know how.

I could tell through his thoughts that only time could heal his wounds and remove his guilt.

So if that is what he needed that is what I would give him, time, all eternity if that was what it took.

"You were there for me Edward, you were in my thoughts and in my heart. If it hadn't have been for you and for the promise I made you that day, I wouldn't be here now."

As I said those words to him I realized just how true they were. If it hadn't have been for Edward and his promise I would not have survived losing my mother and father.

Thanks to Edward I lived long enough to be here and having him back in my life was all that mattered now.

I loved my parents and I will always miss them, but the Bella they knew and loved was gone and now I was a part of the Cullens and this is where I belonged.

"So what happened after you left Forks?" Roslie asked, breaking me from my trance.

This would be the part of the story where Emmett would make fun of me and I would have to admit that learning to be a vampire was not as easy as I thought it would be.....

*** I hope you guys enjoyed, let me know what you think! :) I'll update quicker next time*****


	6. Chapter 6

***I don't own anything!! Again guys, I'm sorry it took so long. Life happens. Tell me what you think!!! Enjoy:)****

**Chapter 6 (BPOV)**

**Learning to be an Immortal**

"So what happened after you left Forks?" Roslie asked.

"Well that part of the story is well, embarrassing." I said shyly.

After I said that Emmett smiled and images of me still being clumsy flashed through his mind. He saw me running at vampire speed, only to fall and take down a dozen trees with me.

Edward gave him a cold look, but I found it rather funny. I wasn't clumsy, but I was inexperienced and I knew he would enjoy this.

"I'm not clumsy anymore Emmett, but if there was ever a vampire to be clumsy, it would be me." I said with a smile.

He laughed out loud and everyone else followed along with him, including me.

"Sorry sis, but knowing you, I had to assume." Emmett said with a laugh, still remembering his earlier thoughts.

"So what happened after you left?" Jasper said.

His thoughts were more curious than anything else, he was no longer concerned about me harming any of the others and for that I was thankful.

"Well, after Jacob and the pack escorted me from Washington, I ran. I just needed to get away from people and fast." I said very matter of fact.

"I ran for several days before stopping, I didn't know where I was going and I don't know where all I have been. I just needed to make sure I was as far away from any humans as I could get." I told them

"How have you managed all this time, has anyone helped you?" Esme asked.

I loved her so, she again was worried and I was so grateful to have her back in my life.

"Well, I managed fine, and no, no one helped me. I spent the first year and a half completely isolated. I was afraid that I would attack humans if I allowed myself to get close to them. " I told her.

"It took me a while to learn to deal with the thirst, but eventually I could control it. On the rare occasion that I would pick up on a humans scent I would just turn and run the other way. Once I felt sure that I could allow myself to get close to them I would make short trips into the near by towns, but I never stayed long." I said

"Have you ever slipped up and killed any of them?" Jasper asked.

I was afraid that my response would upset him, I remembered that he had a difficult time dealing with this lifestyle.

"No I haven't, but I have wanted to!" I told them this and the thought alone made venom flood my mouth.

I saw through Jaspers thoughts that he had learned to control his bloodlust over the years and that he felt he and I had something in common now that no one else would understand.

I thought back on the days when I was human and how indifferent Jasper was to me. Back then I longed for a way to connect with Jasper. I respected him and honestly I found him to be extremely interesting and I hoped now that him and I could be friends, that the indifference he held towards me would be gone.

"I am very proud of you Bella, I understand how difficult and lonely this life can be. I'm sure you were very tempted to let the bloodlust control you, I must say the way you handled yourself is very much the way I did, one day you and I must compare notes on our experiences." Carlisle said.

He truly was proud of me, and I was glad. He had always been like a father to me, and there were very few people I respect and admired the way I did Carlisle.

"So what then, get to the embarrassing part already!" Emmett said.

Roslie slapped his chest with her hand, she was thinking how childish he was acting, but also how cute he was when he acted this way, I felt like I was intruding on a private moment and couldn't help but smile.

"Well Emmett, I don't know what to tell you. The first few times I tried to hunt, I couldn't figure out how." I admitted.

" And the first time I jumped over a river, I well, over jumped and I landed inside and old abandoned house. I'm really glad no one lived there, I would have really felt bad about that. I destroyed the place." I said and started laughing at myself.

Everyone was laughing out loud to that, and of course, their minds where flooded with images of me jumping into an old abandoned house and destroying it. I was really grateful that I was alone when that happened because the images they had were nothing compared to how bad it really was.

"That's pretty good, but not what I imagined." He laughed and once again images of me being the only clumsy vampire flooded his mind.

"Well, if it makes you feel better Emmett, I don't think I am the most graceful vampire out there, especially when it comes to jumping, but you and I will have to see just how strong I am, I think it's time someone put me to the test." I challenged.

I remembered just how much Emmett liked to compete and I knew that newborns were supposed to be extra strong, I wasn't that young but hopefully I still had enough strength to give him a run for his money.

"Your on little sis!" he said, and I could see all the challenges he wanted to put me up to, I was starting to think this might have been a bad idea.

"So that's all you've done then love, is just run around?" Edward asked.

I couldn't understand why, but he was concerned and ashamed of himself, he didn't want me to be out there alone all of this time and he was ashamed of himself for not being there with me.

"Yes that's it, after my parents death and being changed I needed time to find myself again, and I found that running helped me think." I told him.

"I'm sorry that you were alone all that time, I should have been there, I should have never left you Bella." He said.

"Don't be sorry, it was best that it happened the way it did, I wasn't good company and Edward you were always with me." I told him and smiled.

He was thinking of how to make all of this up to me, how he would fix all the mistakes between us, that he had caused.

I opened my mouth to correct him but Alice interrupted me.

"Okay, so enough with the questions, lets go show Bella her and Edward's room and find you something to wear!" She said as she bounced over to my chair and pulled me along behind her.

"Come on Esme and Rose, lets go have some fun, just us girls. The boys have a baseball game to plan, and now that we are evenly divided we should play boy's against the girls!" She told them.

As Alice pulled me from the dining room Edward stood up and tightened the grip on my hand. I looked up at him and I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that we had plenty of time to talk.

His mind was racing with all the concerns of the past years and he had so much he wanted to tell me, so many things he needed to say but he didn't know if I was ready, or if I even wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Hold on Alice, I want to try something." I told her.

"It will work!" she thought to me and of course she would have known, she would have seen my decision to try.

Esme and Rose had made there way over to me and Alice by the doorway to the dining room by now and the rest of the boys were standing behind Edward.

Everyones thoughts were of me and Edward. They were curious what would happen between us now and if we could reconcile our differences.

Emmett was sure we would be okay but that Edward had some serious groveling to do.

Jasper was glad that I was here because he thought Edward was in need of some professional help dealing with my absents.

Carlisle and Esme were both thinking that having him and I together again would unite the family and that Edward and I could finally love each other the way we should have been able to.

Roslie was thinking what a pain in the neck Edward had been all this time and it would serve him right if I made him crawl on his hands and knees for years after what he had done, and maybe he should throw in a car to top things off.

Alice was just thinking how happy we would be and how glad she was to have me back.

I wanted to reassure Edward that it was okay, that I was not going anywhere. I wanted him to know not to be concerned about the past, and we had forever to be together now.

I wasn't sure how this new talent of mine worked but I wanted Edward to hear what I had to say, but only him hear it. I just focused all my thoughts all my emotion on him and I prayed no one else would hear.

"Edward, my love, please don't worry, what has past is past. I have never blamed you for leaving, I'm sure you did what you thought was best. I know you have so much you want to say, as I do, and I promise we have forever together, as long as that is what you want." I thought to him.

His eyes told me that he heard me and before I could turn to follow Alice he had swept me up into his arms and kissed me.

Kissing Edward in the past was something that was always wonderful, but also cautious. I knew he held back before and that it must have taken away from the experience for him but I had no idea what I had been missing out on.

This kiss was not cautious, he held me tightly and excitedly. His scent, his breath and his touch was all so new and eager. This kiss was unlike anything I had experienced before.

"I love you Bella, and I will never make the mistake of letting go of you again." He said to me silently before letting me go.

"Get a room why don't ya!" Emmett barked.

I smiled and looked into Edward's eyes once more and thought to him, "I should go with the girls, but I would like to talk to you alone later, if thats okay?"

"Of course, I would like that very much as well." He thought

I really liked that he could hear my thoughts and I his, we could have these little private conversations and no one else would know, it was kind of romantic the more I thought about it.

"Okay, enough with all the silent talk, lets go Bella, lets get you changed before your date with Edward." Alice said.

"Oh, how wonderful a date and where are they going?" Esme asked

For the first time since I had arrived Esme's thoughts were completely joyful.

"Edward will figure it out in about 37 minutes, so come on we have to hurry." Alice commanded

"The first date in over 4 years Edward, you better make it good moron." Roslie told him.

I heard Emmett, Jasper and Carlise laugh about Roslie's comment as we reached the stairs and I couldn't help but giggle myself.

Roslie was right though, it would be mine and Edward's first "date" together in over 4 years and I was a vampire now, I was an equal to him now. I was nervous and then an emotion hit me for the first time since Edward had left.

Desire.

I knew the moment I felt the emotion that Jasper would as well, and if Jasper felt it, Edward would as well, through him.

I was at the top of the stairs now with Alice, Esme and Roslie in front of me, I turned slowly and looked down at Jasper.

His face was somewhat regretful, and I was sure I understood why.

"Sorry Bella, the emotion was rolling off you, along with nervousness, and longing. Well, at least you can't blush anymore." Jasper thought.

"What am I missing? Okay new rule, no more private mind conversations!" Emmett growled.

"Oh Emmett, you don't want to know what they are talking about." Alice said and smiled.

Just then I heard something run through Jaspers mind. What I heard from Jasper wasn't so much a statement or a though, so much as a understanding of a feeling.

He acknowledged that he felt desire and nervousness from Edward as well, and then a lack of confidence come from him.

As I felt the lack of confidence flow from Jasper and knew that it came from Edward, I began to worry about what would happen tonight and if I could do this, was I ready to.

Should I be intimate with Edward, and would I be any good at it?.......


	7. Chapter 7

**** Sorry I've been gone for so long, sick kids and a sick husband make for very little writing. As always I own nothing. This is kinda a filler chapter, but things are going to pick up in the next one, you'll see.****

**Chapter 7**

**Wrapping things up.**

The thought of what this evening would hold for Edward and I made me more and more anxious by the second.

I had been alone a long time and intimacy on any level was something for me to worry about.

Edward was worried about the same things, he was thinking about all the mistakes he had made in regards to us in the past and he was afraid to make a mistake with us again.

"Okay, it will be fine you two, now come on Bella let's get a move on." Alice commanded

_"Bella, don't worry. You either Edward. Everything is gonna be perfect, I could show you if it would make you two feel better!"_ Alice thought to Edward and I.

"NO!" Edward and I said in unison.

The thought of having Alice showing me what Edward and I would be doing only made things worse, and I was even more nervous than before.

_"Fine, I was just trying to help. No need to yell."_ Alice thought.

Everyone in the house had confused and concerned looks on there faces due to the outburst from Edward and I.

I was going to say something to everyone to put them at ease but before I could Alice started pulling me towards her room.

The room was huge of course and had two massive closets, Alice had not changed.

"Oh Bella, where are you keeping your belongings? If you would like Emmett and I can go get them for you while you and Edward are out." Rose offered.

_"Get ready Edward Alice is gonna scream!"_ I warned Edward silently.

"Well Rose, that is very kind of you to offer, but everything I own is here with me, aside from everything I left behind in Forks." I told her

Like clock work Alice screamed.

"Isabella, that is not acceptable. We have more shopping to do than I imagined." Alice yelled.

I heard Edward chuckle downstairs and then his thoughts followed.

_"She missed you, you know and it wouldn't have matter what you had with you, Alice would have found a reason to go shopping."_ Edward thought.

"Rose I did want to ask you something though." I said to her

Rose looked at me then, taking her attention away from Alice throwing cloths at her from the closet.

I went to speak but realized something about Rose and her thoughts just then.

Rose was glad I was her, she was proud of me and was sorry for how she had treated me before when I was human. Apparently what had happened in the clearing that day proved to Rose that I loved her family and was just as devoted to them as she was.

"Sure Bella, anything. What would you like to ask?" Rose said.

"Well, my old truck, I know how much Emmett hated it." I said to her.

"THAT'S FOR SURE!" Emmett shouted from downstairs.

I heard giggles and chuckles from all over the house and as much as I loved that truck I had to laugh to.

"Oh Bella, Emmett is gonna be so happy and so will Rose, you are so thoughtful!" Alice squealed.

I could see from Alice's vision that they would be happy and have a good time, because of my idea.

"Well, I was wondering if you and Emmett would like to take that my old truck and drive it off a cliff the next time you go to Forks? I loved the truck, but I really need to let some of my old things go and I think the truck should go first." I told Rose.

"I LOVE THAT GIRL!!!! THANKS BELLS YOUR ROCK!" Emmett shouted again.

"I think Emmett and I can handle that, thanks Bella." Rose laughed.

_"I better get down there and calm Emmett down or he'll be headed to Forks in the next 10 minutes."_ Rose thought.

"Your welcome." I said out loud and with that Rose made her way downstairs to deal with Emmett.

"Okay Bella, shower. Through that door, and hurry you have 19 minutes to shower and get out here. Esme and I will take care of everything else." Alice ordered.

I smiled at her and Esme and made my way to the bathroom, when I walked in I couldn't believe how beautiful it was.

It was white and clean. In the far corner of the room was the strangest shower/tub I had ever seen. It took me a minute or two just to figure out how to operate it, but it was well worth the wait. I haven't enjoyed a shower like that in so long, if I could sleep I would have been out.

_"Four minutes Bella."_ Alice thought and I swear I heard her tap her finger on her watch.

I growled and reluctantly got out of the shower.

"Okay Bella put this on." Alice said

"Your going easy on me aren't you Alice?" I asked her.

Alice handed me a pair of designer jeans and a white long sleeve cotton shirt with a black vest and black boots. I had imagined much worse than this.

But then I realized something else if I get to wear cloths this casual and comfortable that means the "date" Edward and I were to go on was not going to be all that formal, and for that I was thankful.

"Just this one time, I have to ease you back into hanging out with me again!" Alice said and smiled at me.

I got dressed and went to sit down in front of the vanity where Alice and Esme were waiting for me.

They did my hair and makeup quickly and spent the time telling me of all I had missed in the time that I had been gone.

"Okay you're done!" Alice said and got up and threw me a jacket and smiled.

"You look gorgeous Bella." Esme said and was obviously full of pride and joy.

"Thank you." I told them both and with that I followed them downstairs.

As we walked down the stairs Esme was telling me of how much she wanted to remodel parts of the house, when suddenly Edward was at my side.

_"You are breathtaking Bella, but then you always have been."_ Edward told me silently.

_"Thank you Edward, you don't look so bad yourself."_ I admitted and was once again thankful I couldn't blush.

"Okay you two have a good time and we will see you two right before dawn." Alice said.

Edward took my hand and we headed toward the door, but then I remembered something I wanted to ask Carlisle and Esme earlier.

"Edward wait, I need to talk to Carlisle and Esme real quick, if that's okay." I asked him.

"Of course love, would you like to be alone?" He asked

"No, I have no secrets." I admitted

"What can we do for you Bella?" Carlisle asked

Carlisle and Esme had come and stood next to me and Edward in the living room now and I was unsure how to ask this of them.

"Well, I have no right to ask anything of either of you, but I need your help." I told them.

They both looked concerned but their thoughts suggested that there was nothing that I could ask that they would deny.

"Anything Bella, what can we do to help." Esme asked

"Well, earlier when we were discussing my change I began to think of my fathers home and all of my belongings, thats when I had the idea of letting Emmett destroy my old truck." I told them.

"And what a great idea it was!" Emmett said and then him and Jasper began laughing.

"Anyway, I was wondering if you and Esme could advise me on how to wrap up my affairs in Forks. I can't continue to just let the house sit there and deteriorate. I was thinking maybe I should donate the house and most of the old furnishings, but I am not aloud in Forks alone, so I need your help." I admitted

"Oh Bella, of course we will help in anyway that we can. You and Edward go out and enjoy your evening and first thing when you get back in the morning we will sit down and get everything taken care of." Esme told me.

"Don't worry about anything Bella, I can't imagine how difficult this must have been for you and Esme and I will do all we can to ensure that this is taken care of quickly and easily." Carlisle assured me.

"Thank you both so much." I told them.

With that I looked at Edward and told him I was ready to go. As we got up and made our way to the back door I noticed Emmett was sitting on the sofa with Jasper and Alice watching an old movie.

Alice looked up at me and giggled, then she got up and moved to the other sofa pulling Jasper along with her, it seemed so odd and so I focused in on her thoughts.

She was singing the national anthem in spanish. How strange, she must be blocking me or Edward.

_"Does she do that often?"_ I asked Edward silently

_"Only when she is hiding something."_ He said

"I would say try and bring each other back in one piece, but I guess that's not a problem with you two now that I think about it." Emmett laughed.

Just then Rose picked up the end of the sofa and threw Emmett out of it throwing the sofa down on top of him.

"Your one to talk." Rose told Emmett aloud.

The entire room erupted with roaring laughs, and Emmett was not letting that go.

He sprang up and leaped at Rose, throwing her over his shoulder and ran up the stairs. From the thoughts he was having, along with everyone else in the house I was glad Edward and I would be gone for the remainder of the evening.

"Umm... have a good night everyone." I said

Four sets of eyes turned to me and they were all thinking of away to get out of the house for the evening as well.

Edward and I both giggled and walked out the door.

"So where are we off to?" I asked him

"Well, I thought we could go somewhere and talk for a while, catch up. There is this place I found a while back and I would like to show it to you, there is a waterfall right outside of this cave, it is really a beautiful place." He said.

Right before I could say anything I heard moaning and groaning coming from the house and with that I nodded at Edward and told him to lead the way.....

*** I know it was slow but I didn't want to rush the date chapter. I think after all this time and all Bella has been through Edward has some explaining to do and I didn't want to take away from that. So next chapter will be a good one****


	8. Chapter 8

***You guys are so awesome, thanks for the reviews and always please let me know what you guys think and if you have any suggestions. I don't own anything, and enjoy!:)****

**Chapter 8**

**The Date**

It was twilight and Edward and I made our way towards this new place he wanted me to see.

I was still nervous and was worried that being alone with him was something I wasn't ready for.

As much as I love and have always loved Edward, I wasn't sure that just acting like nothing ever happened between us was the best idea.

A lot of mistakes where made in the past by Edward and I, and I had to find it in me to stand up for myself now and be honest with him.

I was not the fragile human he left in Forks, although I was nowhere near as old or as experienced as Edward I deserved to be treated with respect and as an equal and if Edward couldn't understand that I couldn't allow myself to be with him again.

The entire run I thought of all the disagreements Edward and I had in the past and was trying to figure out how to best put into words all the concerns I had.

I wasn't angry with Edward, now that I could see into his mind it was very clear that all the decisions that Edward made in regards to me in the past was his way of trying to show me love.

I thought over this for a moment, I thought of the way others around me had acted towards me in the past and loved me.

Charlie, he was always a quite man indifferent in a lot of ways, but he was honest and protective.

He liked being alone and he didn't have many friends or family, but for the few, like myself, that Charlie let in, that he truly did love, his love was fierce and unwavering.

Looking back at it now I wish I could have been more honest with him about how much he meant to me and how good of a father he truly was.

Renee, was crazy and erratic, but kind and loyal.

She was my best friend, my buddy and I knew that no matter what I ever did, good or bad, my mother would be there for me and would love me until her last breath, and she did.

The more I thought about it the more I realized just how hard love is to understand.

What love is to one person isn't the same for another.

My father and mother loved me as their child, but as a friend as well. Charlie was never one to show his feelings to anyone and if you saw them, consider yourself lucky.

I knew my father loved me, and that is how he showed me he loved me, by his ability to let me know.

My mother trusted me, confided in me, and turned to me. She showed me she loved me by her confidence and respect for me.

Edward showed love by protecting me, saving me and in the end leaving me.

Edward leaving was his ultimate act of love, he believed that by him leaving he was showing that he loved me enough to let me go.

Although I understand it, and understand now how Edward loves, I needed him to understand that he couldn't do things like that in the future.

It sounded horrible for me to think that, it was like saying that the way he loves is not okay, but that is not what I meant and I just prayed that when the time came to say it to him I could put to him better.

Just then Edward said "Here we are."

It was breathtaking, the field around the waterfall was so open. The cave was right off of a cliff right off the tree line. The waterfall fell right in front of the cave.

It was so green all around and the water that fell from in front of the cave was like a heavy mist, making the most relaxing sounds.

The pond the water fell into was small but deep from the looks off it and the water ran all the way through the flat field for as far as the eye could see.

"Edward, this place.. I don't... It is so... I'm speechless!" I admitted

I couldn't find words to satisfy just how beautiful and perfect this place was.

"I thought you would like it." He smiled and threw his thoughts I could see that Edward came here often and thought of me when he did.

He had truly missed me and regretted his decision to leave, I hopped that this evening we could sort through our past and that finally we could be the couple I always thought we were meant to be.

"Are you felling up to talking or would you like some time? I don't want to rush you Bella, I know that I have to right to expect anything from you, but I hope that now that you can see into my mind, you have a better understanding of just how deeply I love you." Edward said.

Well it's now or never.

"Edward, I would like to talk and to be honest I didn't know if coming on this "date" was such a good idea. Please don't take offense to anything I am going to say, but I feel that it is necessary to make a few things understood to you." I told him.

Edward hung his head for a moment, he was trying to gather his thoughts and I had already hurt him by saying I didn't think this date was a good idea.

"Oh Edward no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. When I said I didn't think the date was a good idea I only meant that I didn't think us jumping right back into a relationship was a good idea with out talking some things threw, I don't want us making the same mistakes again.

A lot has happened between us and we should clear things up before we get back into anything to serious." I explained.

I felt bad about what I was saying but it was honest and necessary.

"I understand Bella, we should clear things up, I have many things I want to say to you too." He said

"Okay so first things first, I'm not good at understanding my talent and I don't want to have a conversation like this without giving you access to my thoughts. I can read yours all the time but it seems like you can only read mine when I direct them at you, so I will do my best to keep my mind open to you at all times." I told him.

"That is very thoughtful Bella, later on I will try and help you understand your talent by showing you how I learned to control mine, hopefully that will help you." Edward said.

"Edward I want you to understand I am not angry with you for leaving me, I was at first, but more than that I was confused. I thought you loved me and I had always known that I was not good enough for you, that you had to hold back from me, but leaving me the way you did wasn't fair to me.

I've seen into your mind so I understand perfectly why you did it and why you felt that you had to leave that way, but you can not make decisions like that without me.

A part of me died that day, I knew full well that risk I was taking being with you, I understood the dangers of your world and I wanted you regardless.

Edward when I told you I loved you for the first time I had known you where a vampire, but that night is not the night I fell in love with you.

I knew I was in love with you before I figured out that aspect of your life. The fact that you were a vampire only made me more sure of my love for you, because I understood the struggle you went through to be with me.

If you had truly not wanted to be with me, if I was really not what you wanted anymore than that would have been one thing, but I have seen you only left to protect me, and that Edward is not okay.

You leaving killed me inside, I needed you, I loved you and I suffered because you were trying to protect me. You should have talked to me about leaving before you deceived me the way you did.

It wasn't just your life that you were effecting when you left, you changed mine and hurt some of your family, if you want us to be together again, you have to promise me that you will never leave me in the dark again like that.

I am not human anymore, I deserve to be treated with respect and as your equal. You can't keep things from me and you can not make decisions that involve me without me." I said

I had be as honest as I could and I wanted him to understand what I needed from him, if he still wanted me.

"Bella, you are absolutely right. I thought I was doing the right thing when I left you in Forks. My world was no place for you, and even though you had given yourself to me and accepted the dangers of my world I couldn't let you be hurt or die because of my selfishness.

I wanted you to have a normal life, human life and there was so much that I couldn't give you. Looking back I should have told you why I was leaving, I should have found another way but I knew you loved me and that nothing I could say would make you understand.

You would have followed me to hell if I would have asked you, I just thought given time you would forget me and that you would be living the life you were meant to live.

Obviously I was wrong, apparently fate had this life planned for you all along. I will never be able to full express how sorry I am for the mistakes I've made and all the promises I've broken but Bella I will be better I will do better.

You're a vampire now and although I loved you for you as you loved me for me, it is easy to see that now you are changed we can be equal partners, where once I held back." Edward said

Through his thoughts there was not doubting that he did understand and was genuine in the fact that he would do all that I had asked, I couldn't help but be hopeful.

After that we talked about things that had happened during our time apart. He asked more about Charlie, Renee and Jacob. He asked about high school and all that I had left behind when I left Forks after my change.

He then told me about how he had acted after he left, how he never came around much and on the rare occasions that he would find his family and visit, it was to hard for him and them.

He said a day never went by that he didn't think of me, and that his family's thoughts constantly made his decision to stay away that much harder.

He said he had considered checking on me a few times but thought better of it.

After he finished telling me all about his life after Forks, we discussed what his family was doing here.

Edward said that Carlise had been asked here by Aro and the rest of the Volturi. He said Carlise and the Volturi had a history together and on occasion they would invite him and the rest of the Cullens along with many other covens to Italy.

He said they were holding some kind of ball and that all the heads of the covens would met with the Volturi to discuss any important matters at hand and to remind them all of the rules set in place for our kind.

Edward wasn't looking forward to this and he said none of the Cullens were, but that to refuse to go would be a very bad idea and that was why he was back with his family here in Italy.

Just then Edwards cell phone rang, it was Alice she said that we needed to come home. Aro and a few other members of the Volturi were coming over in a few hours to speak with us and she saw that us being there was necessary.

"Okay Alice we are on our way back." Edward said.

"Well, love we have to go, I'm sorry our evening got cut short." He said.

He was sorry, he wanted more time, he had so much he wanted to say but thought it best not to. He didn't want to rush me, he was trying to be respectful and give me space.

"Edward, you should just say what it is you are wanting to say." I told him.

He knew my meaning and as I stood up he took me in his arms and looked as deeply as he could into my eyes.

"Bella, please forgive me. I need you, you are and always have been my life. I love you, will you please give us another chance?" he asked.

I knew we would have to take things slow and his thoughts said he knew that as well, so with that I gave him my answer in the most fitting way I could think of.

I leaned up and pressed my lips to his, putting as much love and understanding into the kiss as I could and told him silently

"I forgive you Edward, I love you too and I want us to try as well."

With that he deepened the kiss and images of all the kisses we have ever shared went through his mind, he truly did love me.

He pulled back a few moments later, looking into my eyes again, "Shall we love, Alice is waiting?"

Just then an idea occurred to me and I couldn't help but smile.

I wanted to race him like Emmett had earlier that day, I had never really "ran" with another vampire and Edward was the fastest anyone had ever seen, but seeing that I was still technically a newborn I might have a chance.

"Let's race back and if I win you have to go with Alice and I shopping, the whole trip, every store, you have to try on just as many outfits as I do and then me and the rest of the girls get to paint yours and the rest of the guys toenails." I said.

"The other guys are not going to go for that, especially Emmett and Carlisle." He stated.

"Well you better not lose." I laughed

"Okay fine, if I win you and the other girls have to let us guys take you and the girls out for a night on the town, but we get to pick out your wardrobe for the evening and you have to let me buy you a car." He said.

"I am not going to let you buy me a car Edward and there is no way the girls would let you and the rest of the guys pick out our clothes for an evening out." I told him.

"Well you better not lose." He laughed, using my words from before against me.

Just then his phone rang and we both knew it would be one of the other Cullens calling in regards to the outcome of the race and no doubt protesting.

We both laughed and in unison said "Your on!"

_"I won't hold back Bella!"_ He said silently, with that same smile on his face that drove me wild when I was a human, and apparently it still did.

_"I won't either!"_ I admitted to him.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" I told him and we were off!......

*** Well guys there you go, I thought that this was appropriate for their first "date", so who should win the race??? Please let me know how you are liking the story and if I need to work on anything! As always I love hearing from you guys and I hope to post again tomorrow! :)***


	9. Authors Note

Hey Guys & Gals,

I am SOOOO sorry for not being able to update this story. This semester of college just ended for me and we went out of town before summer session started.

With all of that going on it hasn't left me much time to work on my stories, but I will get them updated this weekend.

So I wanted to thank all of you who wrote me, thanks for the encouragement to finish the stories.

If you guys have any ideas on where you think the stories should go, any suggestions on how to improve them, or my writing I would appreciate any and all criticism.

On that note, I am gonna start working on the next chapter!

I love you guys,

Kenna


End file.
